balance? what’s that?

A year ago I was about to start the last year of my Master’s program. A year that I knew would show me my strengths and weaknesses.  I would be writing my thesis and doing a teaching internship and I strongly questioned whether doing both would be possible to do simultaneously. It was very daunting and I was exhausted just imagining how it would go. It would also be my youngest daughter’s senior year of high school. Her final year of soccer and she would be one of the captains. I was so excited for her and so excited for her father and I to get the opportunity to watch her in this role.  She had worked so hard for so long and we were eagerly anticipating getting to see her work culminate in this opportunity.  We were embarking on a year that would be filled with so many lasts and firsts that she would be experiencing and when I started the adventure of graduate school in 2015 I did not figure I would be finishing it the same year as my youngest finished her high school education.

Have you ever done that? Started something without contemplating the finish?  I knew it would take me time. Part of what drew me to Portland Seminary was the ability to do the program part time. This allowed me to be a wife, mom and work full time while taking classes.  The first couple years where crazy – like a fire hose coming straight at me. I survived them though and now 8 years later I have walked the final stretch.

I remember sitting with my thoughts, wondering how I was going to balance everything and if balance was even a possibility. Then I turned to the wise words of Goldie Hawn, that balance is something we swing through on our way from one extreme to the other. This has been one of the most helpful pieces of information I have received in the last 20 years.  It helped me stop striving for something that isn’t attainable and instead relish the moments I am in even when I am in the extremes. That is what this last year was - an extreme in so many ways. Overloaded with research and writing, preparing with my youngest daughter for her adventures as a Senior in High School, soccer captain, entrance into college all while my husband and I’s day job was extremely busy. But here I am, sitting on the other side of it and I have realized that Goldie was right. We hit balance every once in awhile but it is always while we are in motion.

Here I am, having completed a year I wasn’t sure I knew how to get through and completing it with success. A success defined by motion. A constant moving forward to the next thing, the next opportunity of growth, the next piece of my life. So, thank you Goldie for putting balance in perspective for me so I can have confidence as I hurtle into the next phase. Although the unknown seems scary and I am not sure what all it holds, I am excited for it.